A Memorial Day For Dad And Aunt Sue

I suppose we all have those memories that stop us in our emotional tracks. We all vary when it comes to emotions that make us think and ponder our own ending. After all, we must all face the inevitable. But even after we realize it, there’s a sense of denial; that it is a very distant event we have much time in which we must face it.

I wondered and fought with myself on what was occurring emotionally when the page was being turned with the passing of Aunt Sue and my father. It never dawned on me all through life that these people would leave this Earth, so I guess when they did, it was time to really grow up, once again.

A surreal reality chack.

My brother David and I arranged our father’s memorial at Lake Louisa Park on the same day as our Aunt Sue’s memorial at our cousin’s home on Saturday, January 28. The plan was to attend both while David was in Florida from Georgia, where he resides, in order to honor both his aunt and father. But before we could venture to cousin Jeff’s place for Aunt Sue’s memorial, we had to take a little trip to the location of dad’s residence before he moved to Georgia.

Our dad was cremated, just as his wife Lorraine had been. Dad saved her ashes for the sole purpose of being spread in to the lake together behind the home they shared before her death, in Mascotte, Florida. Dad asked that his ashes be spread in the lake with hers; David and I saw that the request was fulfilled.

After departing Lake Louisa, we directed our attention to the home in Mascotte. DJ, dad’s former neighbor, was more than accomodating. We chatted for a bit, then we launched a boat DJ loaned us. We paddled out a distance and sat a moment before David handed me one of the bags containing dad and Lorraine.

“I’m holding dad? Really? This is crazy, bro,” I said with disbelief. David nodded, “Yeah, it is.” He then handed me a knife to cut the bag open, and an eerie feeling enveloped me. The air was cool and breezy, the sun bright. The water was choppy and chilly. I was about to do something I had never imagined to have been possible.

None of it felt real.

On a more comedic note, David and I stepped through some very sludgy stuff on the bottom of the lake. We ran aground and had to walk the boat to the shore. DJ said to wash the peat moss off, otherwise it would begin itching. Something frightening crossed our minds when we wondered what it was that would have caused the itching, so we expedited the removal of the sticky substance.

Dad’s final wish to have his ashes scattered in to the lake with Lorraine was complete. It was the type of closure I didn’t count on, but it was closure, nevertheless.

Those who made it gathered on the shore for a spell. The intended time for the gathering was last-minute, so many weren’t able to make it since it was announced late. We figured that we’d do it the same day as Aunt Sue’s memorial, as it would be easier for those to come who traveled from afar.

We got in to our cars and headed to our cousin Jeff’s home in nearby Groveland. His mother Sue, and my aunt, had passed away the month before my dad, and his uncle. Jeff opened his home for the memorial, and what I would later realize, it was the perfect setting for the occasion.

It was great seeing all of my aunts, cousins, their children, and family friends. And as I’ve always lamented, it’s almost a shame that we must await a loss in order to enjoy what we have traditionally considered a necessity in the early days, years ago. I guess time has a way of doing that to families, as they spread out with their own lives and traditions.

A good amount of family and friends showed up for my Aunt Sue’s memorial. It was in the country, the mood was rather cheerful despite the occasion, and quite frankly, I couldn’t get over the assortment of animals Jeff has. It was like an adult petting zoo!

There were cows and bulls, a horse, a mule, a pig, dogs, and one blind cat. You can’t make this stuff up, folks. Jeff claimed they were all pets. And yes, even the grass-eating cattle in his pasture.

It was difficult leaving when I did, but it was time to depart before sunset. As we close the doors on some things, we must reach down deep to open new ones. The younger generation in our family are left to do just that now, but the memories of my dad and Aunt Sue will forever remain a door I can open from time to time when I want to visit with them in my mind and spirit.

Memories are a glorious thing. Memories bring them back to life.

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More pictures of the memorials and a couple of my dad before passing away, thanks to my cousin, Lisa. Strangely, I didn’t take as many as I’m accustomed to taking. If you’d like add your photos onto this online dedication to these wonderful people, please send them to me, as I can edit this any time.

End Of An Era: The Loss Of My Father

All beginnings have an end

 

As they say, passing away is a part of life. I get that, but nobody ever said we had to easily accept it or be easily comforted by the quote. It’s an oxymoron in my vision, in that death is a part of living. The ‘mourning’ side of us doesn’t seem to comprehend the meaning too well. After all, dying isn’t living.

It’s also the end of our male lineage from my father’s generation. His three brothers passed away over the last several years; he being the last to die among them.

Dad joined his brothers on December 23, 2016. When I shut off the power to the machine delivering his oxygen, I turned to my brother, David, in a calm manner, softly telling him that dad had finally passed. David didn’t get excited, understanding that we knew it was coming soon, and that every moment were precious ones as we sat by his bed at 7 a.m.

God showed up to take my father with him.

 

We all knew dad wasn’t ready to depart, but he accepted it. It was also a tough pill for us to swallow because we felt he was still too young at the age of 75. So since the memories were cut short, the best is being made from them.

My dad was in the Army and stationed in Germany during the 1960’s. I was always amazed that his memories of the days he served our country were very sharp, telling us stories of his ventures with vivid detail. It was his early military career that he used to teach and guide us as children. But, he never tired of his tales and adventures in to later age.

Back to his brothers.

As I mentioned, Dad lost two of his brothers years back, but just this year, we also lost the oldest of the four, Jimmy Smith. Talbert and Billy Smith, uncles whom we also adored, passed away at younger ages. The memories of these four assembling the entire family each and every weekend, as I remember as a kid, will live on in my mind for the rest of my life.

I feel as if those days have died with them, as if there are not many of us left with the desire to carry on the torch. Our family is spread afar and it seems next to impossible to bring everybody together at once; in the same place.

I’m praying this will change before we lose too many more.

 

My dad lived in Florida most of his life, but in recent years (and after his wife Lorraine passed away), he relocated to Georgia where my brother, David, resides. I also lived and worked there for my brother’s company, a glass business, and after 2 years, I returned to Florida. We had some good times, but in the last couple of years, Dad decided that staying closer to home was better for him and travel a thing of the past, as his health became increasingly dire, and his body frail.

I swallowed with difficulty when I finally had the courage to read Dads obituary. I suppose I was distraught and discouraged to do so because after all, an obituary has traditionally left me to feel that it’s a passage of finality; reality.

It read:

Clifford Smith, 75, passed away on Friday, December 23, 2016.

Clifford was born on October 22, 1941 in Miami, Florida to the late Clifford Leon and Betty Daughtry Smith. A United States Army Veteran, he proudly served his country during the Berlin Crisis. Following his military career, Clifford worked for Yale Equipment Company and went on to devote 26 years as a mechanic with Brungart Equipment Company before retiring.

In his spare time, he enjoyed fishing and camping. Clifford also loved spending time with his family, especially with his grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

In addition to his parents, he was preceded in death by his beloved wife, Lorraine Smith.

His memory will forever be treasured by his loving children, Clifford Smith, Jr. of Chattanooga, Tennessee, Brian Smith of Dade City, Florida, and David Smith (Casey) of Warner Robins; nine grandchildren; and seven great-grandchildren.

All services will be private.

A reunion in Heaven

Jimmy, Talbert, Clifford, and Billy Smith are now departed. Remembering these men who were, together with their wives, pillars of our family, is still easy to do. The good times outweighed the bad ones. Every weekend when I was a child entailed large, regular get-togethers that I will never forget. Their children were close to each other, and there was always an adventure to be had among them. The eldest male generation now gone, I’m quickly realizing that their children are on deck.

Hard to believe we are all aged, and our fathers, gone.

Dad stated that he didn’t want a funeral or service. But he did say something that was somewhat of a surprise. Never the religious type, Dad asked for prayers and a pastor to discuss his impending end. This was of special meaning to me, as I had always explained to Dad that there was never anything to lose when it came to accepting Jesus.

“If you die and nothing happens, fine. But if you’re wrong, you’ll then realize that you had nothing to lose,” I’ve told him on more than one occasion.

Dad will surely be missed. It’s difficult to relay just how and how much. I can’t talk to him,only hoping that prayers are forwarded to him somehow. I’m not sure how it works, but one thing is for certain. The lessons from these men, and especially my father, will aid me on my path to old age, and ultimately, my end as well.

 

 

 

 

Throughout America: 20 Years of Personal Discovery – Chapt. 12

Chapt. 12

California Dreamin’

In 2005, after 4 years in the Portland, Oregon area, opportunity in hotel management took me to California. Sacramento, that is. Situated just east of San Francisco, west of Lake Tahoe (Sierra Nevada mountain range), and northeast of San Jose, Sacramento is the capital of California, initiated in 1854, when the state was just 4 years old. During this era, the California Gold Rush was in full swing – Sacramento being a major trading and distribution point of the mined gold.

Panoramic view of Sacramento, California

I resided in Folsom, just outside of Sacramento. Despite the namesake of the prison that was popularized by Johnny Cash and the reputation of being violent, Folsom is actually an upscale area. During the summer it can get quite hot, while in the winter, mild and a bit on the wet side. Due to the bay breeze from the west however, the heat in the summer is kept in check at times, as the air is much cooler coming from the frigid Pacific Ocean.

There were also many outdoorsy things to do. There are river canyons everywhere, perfect for a camp-out or a day on the cold streams that run through. Fishing is huge, as is hiking and sightseeing. Speaking of which, some personal points of interest include Yosemite National Park, the mountainous region of Lake Tahoe, the beaches, and attractions in southern California, just to name a few. We will touch on those areas in later chapters.

It’s unclear with certainty when the earliest known inhabitants came to the area. Some estimates range between 10-25,000 years ago, when hunters from northeast Asia followed herds of grazing animals, which fossil evidence includes mammoths. During this era, the modern-day Bering Strait was frozen, allowing for such a passage in to the region.

In the 1500’s, Europeans laid their eyes on California for the first time. They discovered over 300,000 Native Americans, within about 200 tribes. These people lived in relative peace among tribes, and since the climate was a dry one, agriculture was very limited. Instead, they became experts at making use of roots (for both food and medicinal remedies), fruit gathering, and fishing.

A tributary of the Sacramento River

The first trip designated to exploring was San Francisco. I quickly discovered that driving through the roller coaster of hills through town was a challenge. So, parking the car and hiking was the best way to go.

I always wanted to see the famed Alcatraz Island, a prison that was decommissioned in 1963. There is a rich history of the island, located about 1.25 miles off shore in the San Francisco Bay. Made famous by inmates such as Al Capone (who served time for tax evasion), and Frank Morris, who with two others escaped the fortress in 1962 on a makeshift raft (they were assumed to have drowned, but no evidence was ever found to the contrary), there is no shortage of intriguing stories. Learn more on the history of Alcatraz here.

San Francisco also began as a result of the gold rush in 1849. Almost overnight, the city became the most populated in the west, and due to the natural harbor that is San Francisco Bay, it was a mecca for shipping and trade. There’s much to tell about San Francisco, and a lot to learn. There’s more to see at History.com.

Although California is a “gold mine” of things to see and do, there is a down side. Taxes are through the roof, and the government, it would seem, has been plagued by scandal for many decades. But since I knew I’d be there a while I made the best of it, taking advantage of any and every opportunity I could to see and enjoy the sites.

Alcatraz Island

The adventure in California was aplenty. In later chapters, we’ll be touching on the many national parks to be seen in the respective states visited.

Stay tuned!

The Many Dangers of Denial

Most of us believe denial unto itself is the intentional act of not acknowledging facts or reality. Looking into the subject intensely, it has become apparent that denial is much, much deeper than that. Denial, in its different forms, could also entail mental conditions due to the shocking nature of the memory or instance in which it is exercized. Denial in its worst form is considered a mental illness in response to things some people just don’t want to think about.

Denial is a form of lie. This lie could be to ones self, but also to others. Psychologists for years have tried identifying the nature of denial to propose a condition. The first to study denial with promising results was Sigmund Freud. He surmised that denial was an emotional defense mechanism, such as the shocking ordeal as death of someone close or in many rape scenarios. Anna Freud was the first to connect addiction with the mental state of denial. I think this is the scenario many of us know best.

There are different degrees of denial. They are:  Simple denial – denying less-than-pleasant facts altogether; Minimisation – one who admits the fact, but down-plays the significance; and Projection –  one who admits the facts and significance,  denying responsibility by blaming others.

At some point in time, we all experience denial, whether in our personal lives, or in the lives of those closest to us.

The most destructive form of denial is a phenomenon known as DARVO. It stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender.

We did our research extensively on the subject, and was quite amazed at how we may encounter DARVO. This excerpt, written by Dr Jennifer J. Freyd, PhD at the University of Oregon, gives us insight:

“It is important to distinguish types of denial, for an innocent person will probably deny a false accusation. Thus denial is not evidence of guilt. However, I propose that a certain kind of indignant self-righteousness, and overly stated denial, may in fact relate to guilt.

I hypothesize that if an accusation is true, and the accused person is abusive, the denial is more indignant, self-righteous and manipulative, as compared with denial in other cases. Similarly, I have observed that actual abusers threaten, bully and make a nightmare for anyone who holds them accountable or asks them to change their abusive behavior. This attack, intended to chill and terrify, typically includes threats of lawsuits, overt and covert attacks, on the whistle-blower’s credibility and so on.

The attack will often take the form of focusing on ridiculing the person who attempts to hold the offender accountable. The attack will also likely focus on ad hominem instead of intellectual/evidential issues. Finally, I propose that the offender rapidly creates the impression that the abuser is the wronged one, while the victim or concerned observer is the offender. Figure and ground are completely reversed. The more the offender is held accountable, the more wronged the offender claims to be.”

I think many readers will identify well with Dr. Freyd. Denial is in our daily lives. Click HERE to learn more about denial and how to cope with others who may need serious help with the extreme forms.

Grow, with the know.

Before The Big Bang: Only God Knows

It’s always amusing when science clashes with the existence of God, as science has always been at odds with those who believe humans arrived here via divine placement. And although we all can agree that there is a universe in the skies above and beyond, society is in a deadlock over how it all began in the first place. There are two sides of this coin: Those who believe in God, and those who do not.

Both sides need to open their minds.

The universe is a massive place, and humans can only measure it by its observable properties. That is, what we can detect or see with modern technology. There have been advances in methods of measuring distances within our universe (and expansion of it), along with its size, and the numbers are numbing.

 

According to Space.com:

“Astronomers have measured the age of the universe to be approximately 13.8 billion years old. Because of the connection between distance and the speed of light, this means they can look at a region of space that lies 13.8 billion light-years away. Like a ship in the empty ocean, astronomers on Earth can turn their telescopes to peer 13.8 billion light-years in every direction, which puts Earth inside of an observable sphere with a radius of 13.8 billion light-years. The word “observable” is key; the sphere limits what scientists can see but not what is there.

But though the sphere appears almost 28 billion light-years in diameter, it is far larger. Scientists know that the universe is expanding. Thus, while scientists might see a spot that lay 13.8 billion light-years from Earth at the time of the Big Bang, the universe has continued to expand over its lifetime. Today, that same spot is 46 billion light-years away, making the diameter of the observable universe a sphere around 92 billion light-years.”

92 Billion light-years in diameter. The size is unfathomable, and as top minds among worldly humans race, debate and otherwise claw at how the universe was produced in the first place, those who remain faithful in God feel they have the edge. After all, they feel there’s no work at all in proving God created the entire process in the first place. But, there’s much more to it than just faith alone, and science doesn’t want to acknowledge it.

The universe is packed full of matter. You know, material and physical substance. So lets say the Big Bang did occur for the sake of making a point. Where did the material in the Big Bang come from in order for a Big Bang to occur? Did it merely materialize out of thin air in a scientific branch of research yet to be discovered, or did it not exist at all until the time was designated? After all, even scientists agree that time didn’t likely exist before the Big Bang.

We could go in to theory, predictions, estimates and a million hypothesis’s endlessly, but what about the validity of God being the creator? What about God being the great one who began time, light and the universe as a whole? Perhaps to many, it’s the theory that makes the most sense, and it has nothing to do with life being proven outside of our planet.

Science has, for the most part, stated that if life exists in any place other than Earth, that God doesn’t exist. Why peoples of many generations were led to believe this hype is another wonder. As individuals, today’s Earthling’s must do something very vital for themselves, and that’s to look at what’s before their very eyes. By pulling a Bible out, reading it from start to finish, there’s something very interesting that is not in the book itself.

Nothing within it states there’s no life outside of Earth.

It would be naïve, given the sheer numbers and possibilities, to believe life doesn’t exist somewhere, somehow, outside of the planet we call home. So where the science community ever began believing that proving life elsewhere would prove God doesn’t exist is an irony that more than 2,000 years of staring at space has created.

Even Harvard’s Space Forum admits a short-coming of scientific discipline in understanding where it all began, stating, “Although astronomers understand what the universe was like just a few seconds after the Big Bang, no one yet knows what happened at the instant of the Big Bang – or what came before. What powered the Big Bang? Where did all the stuff in the universe come from in the first place? What was the universe like just before the Big Bang?”

Stephen Jay Gould, Professor of Geology and Paleontology at Harvard said,”The absence of fossil evidence for intermediary stages between major
transitions in organic design, indeed our inability, even in our
imagination, to construct functional intermediates in many cases, has been a
persistent and nagging problem for gradualistic accounts of evolution.”

It’s safe to say that the human race can be a little on the arrogant side. After all, the world was once flat, the Sun revolved around the Earth and now, the Big Bang theory proves God doesn’t exist.

Not so fast, science.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pumped For Trump In Tampa, Florida

Donald Trump, the business man turned political foe that even fellow republicans fear, made it evident that the people want to speak – to be heard. Referred to as the silent majority, Trump enthusiasts are setting records to show support for their candidate.

Sometimes, we have to see things with our own eyes when it seems too good to be true, and for the last several months, the storm that has been brewing in the political world has been viewed from television, radio, and social media. The hype has implications that could, or could not, change the direction in which America is going.

Donald Trump’s team decided that Florida’s 99 delegates was a steak being dangled in front of them, thereby putting Tampa squarely in the cross-hairs as a stop. The USF Sun Dome was the target last evening. And, it didn’t disappoint.

The dome was filled with 11,000 attendees, with thousands more outside who could not get in the door. According to Sun Dome officials, it was, in fact, the largest attendance of any other venue, including Elton John’s visit in 2012. To give a better perspective, Trump has left a path of the same in Barton, Arkansas, where 11,500 people eclipsed the attendance record last set by ZZ Top, way back in 1974. And let’s not forget Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where Trump supporters topped 12,000, setting yet another record at the River Center.

Why all the hype?

The lines were long, so I was certainly glad I got there early. It was sure to be a longer day because of it, but we had to go there with our own eyes for readers. After hours of waiting to enter the front doors of the Sun Dome, we were in, and luckily, had a good choice of seats. But that wasn’t the same story for all who wanted to catch a glimpse of their hero.

Admission was free (attendees were required to register online for the event), but parking was $20. It seemed justified with the amount of security that enveloped the entire USF campus. Bomb-sniffing dogs, police patrolling crowds by bike, and other security measures were in tandem with the Secret Service, who mingled among those waiting to gain entrance.

Not everyone was there to see Trump in all his glory. Protesters, who numbered about 100 despite the misreporting of thousands by the mainstream media, yelled at Trump fans, waving their signs. Some yelled back, but most simply ignored what was described as a feeble attempt to cause unrest. Mostly however, the protests were civil.

As the line to get in to the Dome swelled, there was no shortage of vendors selling pins, flags, hats, and t-shirts. “Bomb the shit out of ISIS” and “Hillary for prison” was themed on the merchandise, and the crowds adorned them. It’s also important to note that among those there, thousands were young adults, some even wearing shirts with “Reagan/Bush ’84.” It was the largest turnout of young adults that I could ever recall at an event such as this. It’s telling of how involved more Americans are becoming, and it’s likely due to the crisis facing Americans that has all age groups uniting for Trump.

Many vets turned out as well, and it touched me deeply to see these younger citizens thanking them for their service. Bill Isaly, a marine who served from 1961 to 1968, said he was quite proud to see the millennials participating. When asked if he was there to support Trump, Isaly rested his American flag on his shoulder. “Yes, but I also have to support our volunteers,” he said.

Not all in attendance had their minds made up. Voters still on the fence about Trump showed up to hear his message, and many of those found themselves applauding.

USF student Casey Carson is an example of the new young, curious voters who are trying to make sense of it all. Carson, who is majoring in Economics of Health, said she is interested in how Trump is going to pay for health care if he repeals the Affordable Healthcare Act. “It sounds good, but what he is going to try replacing it with and how it’s going to be funded is what I’d like to know,” she said.

Carson said she is a Rand Paul follower, but understands very well that Paul may not have the support needed to get past Trump. “NSA is a big deal. Too much government control over our lives. The war on drugs is a failure. I’d rather the government leave us alone. It’s just too large,” Carson continued.

When Trump took the stage of the highly anticipated rally, the atmosphere turned electrifying. Trumps message of taking America back for the people was a strong one, as the confident Trump called for securing American borders, paving a way to shrink national debt, job creation, repealing executive orders made by the Obama Administration, and regaining the respect of the international community.

Trump also lashed back at fellow republicans, making it clear that their tactics are only making him stronger. With arms out, Trump shouted, “Bush spent 20 million dollars on negative ads about me. What the hell did I do to him?” Trump didn’t spend too much more time speaking about other candidates, and went on to explain how countries of the world think America is a big joke.

It has become clear that the candidate with no special interests and who funds his own campaign is a serious contender. Coming off of a huge victory in New Hampshire where Trump won by double digits, the fear of losing is beginning to set in among democrats and republicans alike. Why they fear a Trump win is rather obvious, and should he win, the “establishment” as we all know it now will crumble to the ground, not to mention investigating the many laws that have been broken by the Obama Administration.

The fear is real.

The Pasco County Fair Returns!

Growing up as a child, there was a week we considered a holiday unto itself. No, it wasn’t Christmas week or spring break – but it sure was right up there with the heavyweight anticipations. The allure of children’s laughter and the smell of cotton candy and other delights filled the air. I guess deep down, I still get a tingle of excitement that brings the memories back to mind.

It’s that time of year again, February 15-21, when the 69th Annual Pasco County Fair makes its reappearance in Dade City, Florida. Admission is $8 for adults and $5 for children ages 6 through 12. Parking is free.

Monday kicks off the festivities (parade in downtown Dade City at 1 p.m.) of what’s sure to be a success for not only fair organizers but also for area businesses that have a trained eye for opportunity. The event is expected to bring in much-needed revenue to an area being touted as up-and-coming through many planned improvements.

Toss in troops of happy children for good measure and everyone wins.

Speaking of the kids, I recall never having to wonder how we got there, or the stress that was brought on by large crowds. So since the adults are picking up the slack, I thought some helpful tips would be of great use, especially for locals. For area businesses? They should also take some notes.

I didn’t look any further for information than lifelong resident, Jenny Timms. Having raised children in Dade City to boot, it made sense to give her my undivided attention; and as an employee at Saint Leo University, she also has advice for those looking to visit the campus during fair week.

Here is Jenny’s tips:

*  Be patient. The fair only comes around once a year and people (especially kids) are excited and may cut in line, walk in front of you, or be in your way.

*  Walk past the food at the entrance. The rides are at the back of the fair. Eat on the way out or take a break to nosh.

*  The exhibits are free, but some shows are not. Experience the “small town” feel of the fair by viewing the exhibits made by area school children, civic groups, and non-profit organizations. The exhibit halls are also great areas to escape weather elements. Most years, it rains at least one day of the fair.

*  The Dade City area, in general, is going to be busier than usual during fair week. Avoid State Road 52 by the fairgrounds.

-To travel to Saint Leo/San Antonio, drive down Saint Joe Road
to Happy Hill Road. Turn right onto SR 52.

-Another alternate route is Smith Road to Clinton Avenue.
Turn left from Smith to travel to US 301.

*  Avoid fast food restaurants immediately after school/work, as well as immediately after the midway closes. Many “locals” avoid the high prices of fair food and instead treat their children to a hamburger.

*  The Fair ends on Sunday, meaning many of the “good” rides don’t leave the fair until Monday. Unfortunately for us, that translates into the rides not arriving in time for opening day.

*  The midway offers unlimited rides all week (prices vary). View the Pasco County Fair Association’s webpage for information, including hours of operation, prices, and special events.

*  The parade will be held at 1 p.m. on Monday, February 15. Avoid all areas of downtown Dade City. If you must travel to this area, use Locke Street to 301 to US 98, or Clinton Avenue to 301.

*  Be watchful of pedestrian traffic – especially young teenagers. School is closed on Monday (President’s Day) and many children will be headed from the parade to the fairgrounds between 2 and 3 p.m. Avoid Florida Avenue, Meridian Avenue, and especially SR 52.

Kudos to Jenny Timms – I would have never thought of all that!

As a reminder to drivers again, please be mindful of the children as they’re close to the roadways and may otherwise be distracted. Safety first, Dade City!

Have fun!

A Silent Crisis: Prescription Drugs in America

In the shadows of small towns and big cities alike, there has been a monster of sorts slowly but gradually growing, and festering, right under our noses. In fact, many may think they understand the scope of the problem, and I would have never imagined the size of the epidemic. I’m referring to prescription drugs in our country. While most would contend they’re not quite morally as bad as let’s say, cocaine, heroine or crystal meth, it’s taking over as the leader of all abused drugs.

Combined.

No, I didn’t throw nicotine, alcohol, caffeine or even marijuana on that list. There’s a number of reasons this trend excelled beyond the traditionally abused hard drugs, but I’d like to keep the topic on my focus today. If any of you know or have known somebody abusing prescription medications, it’ll be easy to relate. But for those of you out there who haven’t, I’d like to explain in better detail in the event it happens to someone you know. Unfortunately for me, I had to be alerted to this secretive world by way of someone I witnessed abusing prescription drugs.

Some may be wondering what type of prescription drugs I’m referring to. To be frank, I didn’t really know much about prescription drugs or what types are being abused until very recently. Because I was curious, I recruited the help of a good friend of mine, Jennifer. When I explained what was going on with the person I knew was abusing them, she agreed to allow a brief  interview on the subject. She’s a social worker (official title is Case Worker I) that has seen her fair share of drug abuse. Her job revolves around working with folks to get them back to sobriety with a number of tools at her disposal. Jennifer has about 10 years experience in this field, so I was paying close attention.

I kept the questions simple, but often I could tell how dedicated Jennifer was by how she went above and beyond to explain the pain and destruction prescription drug abuse does. First, she identified the primary drugs she is seeing abused.

“There are all sorts of substances, but prescription medications surpassed the traditional crystal meth and cocaine. The most commonly abused prescription drugs are Xanax (pronounced zanax) and Oxycodone,” she says. When asked to describe the typical abuser, the message hit home with familiarity.

“These addicts will give up everything to get another fix. They will sacrifice their job, friends, and even worse, their family. No one is safe when they get between a drug addict and their next high. Many family members try to justify or make excuses for those they love, but all they’re doing is condoning that behavior and in turn play a big part and blame in the destruction of everyone around them, and eventually the demise of the drug addict. Instead of getting them help in the beginning they make excuses and choose denial over common sense.”

When I thought about sharing this with readers, I wondered what the long term effects were for the prescription drug abuser. I also wanted to alert readers to what signs they should be looking for in the event there’s someone they may know or care about exhibiting certain behaviors. When I did my research, it was a spot-on match to what I had seen with my own eyes.

I’ll begin with Xanax (short for Alprazolam). It’s used to treat anxiety disorders and panic disorder (sudden, unexpected attacks of extreme fear and worry about these attacks). Alprazolam is in a class of medications called benzodiazepines. It works by decreasing abnormal excitement in the brain. Alprazolam is also sometimes used to treat depression, fear of open spaces (agoraphobia), and premenstrual syndrome.

Next is Oxycodone. Oxycodone is also available in combination with acetaminophen (Endocet, Percocet, Roxicet, Tylox, others); aspirin (Endodan, Percodan, Roxiprin, others); and ibuprofen (Combunox). Oxycodone is used to relieve moderate to severe pain. Oxycodone is in a class of medications called opiate (narcotic) analgesics. It works by changing the way the brain and nervous system respond to pain.

The side effects of these medications range widely, but here are some to look for: Drowsiness, light-headedness, headache, tiredness, dizziness, irritability, talkativeness, difficulty concentrating, dry mouth, increased salivation, changes in sex drive or ability, nausea, constipation, changes in appetite, weight changes, difficulty urinating or joint pain.

Some side effects can be serious. The following symptoms are uncommon, but if you witness these side effects, call a doctor immediately: shortness of breath, seizures, seeing things or hearing voices that do not exist (hallucinating), severe skin rash, yellowing of the skin or eyes, depression, memory problems, confusion, problems with speech, unusual changes in behavior or mood, thinking about harming or killing self or trying to do so and problems with coordination or balance.

With a list of possible side effects like these, it’s no wonder some prescription drugs are frightening.

Jennifer explained something else sobering. “When they get to a certain point in their usage, the only way to remedy the serious situation is to have them committed or in worse cases, jailed for any crimes they may commit in the commision of obtaining their drug of choice,” she warns. Jennifer also stressed that legislation or other regulations need to be put in place to make it more difficult to obtain prescription drugs for abuse. “Doctors seem to just hand them out like candy and we must be here to clean up the mess,” Jennifer continued. “Also, making it difficult for addicts to duplicate prescriptions from multiple doctors and multiple pharmacies should be a priority.”

Jennifer is correct. It has been realized that there is no network among many of the different pharmacy brands. In Georgia, for instance, CVS Pharmacy doesn’t have a way to confirm with Walgreens whether or not a prescription has been filled elswhere. Some states have enacted networks such as these, but only a few. A push must be made to make it mandatory in every state, and I hope those states take action on their own instead of allowing the problem to be addressed on a federal level.

It’s ultimitely about the individuals’ choices in life too. People need to be held accountable as do the ones who enable it, doing nothing at all.

Grow, with the know.

Source: PubMed Health

Better Written Than Said: My Uncle Jim

A get-together

For the most part, I’ve always had a fearless way about speaking freely in front of others. Even before large crowds. In fact, I’ve become accustomed to it over the many years I’ve done so. However, there are those times when the nerves take over. The worry. The stress.

That relatively sums it up when I went to the podium to speak about my late Uncle Jimmy yesterday afternoon at his memorial. I suddenly tightened, held back the tears, and delivered what was most important to not only myself, but my entire family, as well. The message was a simple one. It was about each other. The occasion turned out large, as many friends came in addition to family in order to pay their respects. It was apparent that Uncle Jim left a mark on many lives.

The last conversation I had with my uncle came out of nowhere when I visited him in the hospital recently, over a month ago. I recall walking in to the room and him perking up, as he was glad I stopped by. I sat down, and we discussed what the doctor’s orders were going to be and other odds and ends. But then it came to me to get his opinion on something that had been eating at me for some time.

Since the passing of our Uncle Billy, myself and my cousins Mary Ann and Lisa proposed a family reunion, with no certain detail except that we needed to get back to family tradition again. Uncle Jim agreed without second thought. He said, “Get together with the girls and do it.”

As children, family gatherings were a weekend to weekend ritual. Brothers, sisters, cousins, sister and brother in-laws, aunts, uncles, parents, grandparents, nieces, nephews, and close friends – gathered week after week.

It’s what strengthened our bond to this day.

Awaiting the next memorial or funeral shouldn’t be an option, as we all are living life at the speed of light. These years are going by, so it makes perfect sense that if people could make Uncle Jim’s Memorial Service a huge event, they could also plan a day out of their year to have one hell of a get-together.

The strength behind the Smith’s

The Smith family have lost some incredible men and women over the years. But the elder women of our family are second to none. Some who come to mind in recent memory are three women who exemplify dedicated, loyal and caring spouses. My Uncle Talbert was adored by my Aunt Sharon. My Uncle Billy was adored by my Aunt Kathy. My Uncle Jimmy was adored by my Aunt Fran. All three remained at their mans side until the last breath.

These women have something very distinct in common, and it’s not just a coincidence that they were part of these brothers’ lives. No, they are special, and they represent who the Smith family is. The strength among these three is incomparable. They’re also responsible for making better men of my beloved, late uncles.

Memories that will never fade

I guess, at the end of the day, it makes perfect sense. No, we don’t enjoy the thought of loss, nor do we wish this brand of sadness on anyone. But it’s a fact of life we must endure accepting. These losses are also lessons. Very valuable ones. So when I think of my Uncle Jim, I have to also attribute him with making me be a man about it. Making me do what I needed to do. Even if it was the hardest thing I have ever done. He was with me that night. I was a Smith that night. The only blood-related male there. I stood stern and caring that night. But now, I cry.

Sorrento, Florida seemed like yesterday. [chuckling] About 40 years ago, that is. Being with my Uncle Jim and so many other awesome people was the highlight of my life in that era. I don’t think we can get anywhere close to that sort of happiness any more.

But, we can try.

 

 

 

 

Control the Students, Control the Country

It has long been known the United States has been lagging academically compared to other countries, and it appears this trend will only worsen. Who controls what our children learn seems to be a secret, as if it were a dark enemy lurking undetected. In one of many embedded evils at the heart of our country, the education of our youth is obviously being manipulated by a force hell bent on bringing our country to its knees, on so many levels. After all, if an enemy was intent on destroying our country from within, fundamentally changing our American pride from an early age makes perfect sense.

Confuse and bedazzle a country, then take control.

I’ll strive to avoid political party affiliation today, because I’d rather focus on the facts and not a contest. The fact is, Americans are no longer in control of their country, much less their children’s education. In an article by NBC today (mainstream media outlets cannot ignore it any longer due to charges of misreporting), it is being reported that US teens are lagging more than ever, and the fingers are being pointed.

So much for accountability.

Readers were weighing in, and the responses were less than appealing. Pointing the finger at a previous president has lost its luster, as the blame belongs squarely upon the current government, which seems to be dabbing their fingers into every facet of our lives. It’s becoming more apparent than ever that the government is seeking to control our country, from the inside out, and they’re succeeding.

Some parents understand this problem very well, and are concerned about the rhetoric being instructed in class. As a parent myself, I often questioned the curriculum being given to my children, and almost always compared what they were learning to liberal or progressive lessons.

Indoctrination, if you will.

My son explained that they were always given lessons to pass the next test, and little other instruction was given outside of that test. In other words, students were dumbfounded when it came to the basics, knowing little to nothing about the Constitution of The United States, The Bill of Rights, or even the basics of our country’s geography. My son explained that when the instruction was given, they were on their own, for the most part, and the teacher took a break. To my dismay, he provided a picture to strengthen his case.

A Warner Robins, GA teacher slumbers

“Education is a function of the home environment. I was taught early on that if I wanted to get beyond the coal mining town in Central Pennsylvania where I was born that I would have to study hard, learn and not make excuses. My two sons were raised in a similar fashion and I was often criticized for being too hard on them. My two sons and I are in the 1% that is so often demeaned by the socialist progressives. My beautiful 30 month old granddaughter is in the process of learning the drill and despite her privileged birth she will be required to study hard, LEARN, and not make excuses,” says one blogger in an article covering our failing education system.

Even a teacher chimed in, but broke it down a little further.

“As a teacher, who is retiring after a decade of teaching AP classes, I can give you another reason- our children have far worse ethics than previous generations. There has always been cheating, yet technology has turned chicanery into a science. I have many students who have not read a single novel in AP English, and have still passed. Dishonesty is looked upon by millennia’s as a necessary evil. Integrity is seen more and more as the province of suckers. This comes from parents and the media. Parents boast of cheating on their taxes, or the kid sees mom return a dress or shoes she used once then returned as a free rental.

The rebellious lawlessness of the bygone civil rights struggle has morphed into a tacit or even overt acceptance of unethical, even antisocial, behavior. If we really want to see improvement, and have some hope for our future, we have to, as a nation, take ethics more seriously, and teach our children that right action, even if it is less profitable in the short term, is the only viable long term course of action,” said the educator.

Who’s teaching your child?